This is in fact my 15th post.
Suck it Trebeck.
The Monday before TAR I had no real intentions of going. I was invited by Travis and "his Missus" to go a way a back when he found out, but wasn't ever just committed to leaving work behind. On said Monday, my lady broke up with me and I was sad. So sad that I decided to ride in a car for a total of 12 hours. St. Louis. Land of the GD cardinals fan... Just a sea of red. For most of the weekend the closest we saw to a cubs fan was the ugly blue hat that Travis was wearing along with the hat Travis was making Ed wear. MC Hammer tweets way too much. I didn't take but one picture, of one person, that didn't even make a serious face, so i will not be posting my 'reels' of film.. I stole some. In the best chronological order to my 512 braincells I have remaining..This would be a picture of us arriving. Everyone is smiling but me. I think its because my hat was so tight or my head was so big. Oorrrrr, I felt silly meeting everyone in gray holy shorts and a stretched out white t shirt. Nigs was at the door waiting on us. FLASH! "who are you?" FLASH!
We gots Me, (hey, I put a conversation starting shirt on that really just reminded me that I was dumped and yes, that is scotch in my hand) Coffeypot (Just walking with his GD SEC hat) Travis (looking at his wife who is singing what I can only tell to be a Motown song, maybe Smokey Robinson) His Missus (singing what I can only tell to be a Motown song, maybe The Isley Brothers, it looks like she's snapping ) and the photographer's 24 year old sister, Barb (I bet she thinks His Missus is singing some Choker Campbell and His 16 piece band. We are headed for the Hard Rock.Yes, that is a Long Island Ice Tea in front of me. Yes I think its my 3rd. Yes I can dance better than you. Yes I am sweating for no reason. Hell, t was the Hard Rock. I had a club sandwich...Now, Bambi, the 25 year old photographing older sister, used this as an example of the heavy rain that came down upon us... I still say it's just sweat. Hang loose. MMMmmmMMMmm Stella. STELLAAAA!Look who finally put down the camera.. Look who finally showed.. Look who can't really see who's taking the picture..Look at Ed just wishing I would stop yelling..
I yell some more and the night fades into nothing. The sisters leave and I Drunk text..
So i wake up after a well rested night and go find out what The Druery Inn has for breakfast. Then find out its time for the arch. We hit that up, then run a muck around the mall babbling about what and where to eat for way longer than we should have. I thought we were gonna have a couple people fall out. My ribs were good, but what a horrible place atmosphere wise. There wasn't a smile in the place. If it wasn't for us, I'm sure someone would have offed themselves. More than likely the bartender. From there, we bought Liquor and Beer from a shop in the Mall (oh yeah) and headed back for some Vacation R&R (meaning everyone wanted a nap.)
This picture has absolutely nothing to do with me. Honestly, I just want to here Travis make one more Jersey Shore Joke. C'mon man, You gotta get pictures of all the chicks that came down.......... just dudes in a hot tub.. I never went swimming with him again.
I sure as hell drank with him again. Ladies and Gentlemen, The OH Shit! Jager and 151.
After 4 shots of Jager, one oh shit, 2 151 shots, and 4 beers, I was ready for a night on the town. That Jeff cat is a cool son of a bitch. I asked Shayna (desk lady at the Druery) where the spots were, she has yet to tell me. She looked me straight in the face and told me she's not big on the "popped collar" scene. She must have thought I was with the (you ready?) Jersey Shore bachelor party. Ooor she doesn't like talking to fat guys. I get it. Really..
There's Coffey, Posin' like a Posta. I'm drinkin like I'm sposta.. Its almost cut off time, it looks like I have a lazy eye starting up. It was a nice night, but once again, we chose the wrong place to sit down. They made us buy appetizers, or they wouldn't serve us at all. Then started chaining up chairs to tables so no one else could sit down while a 54 year old bald guy did Bob Marley covers inside. I can talk shit, but I was singing "No Woman, No Cry" when he started it up. Good Calamari, bad Mary...
So, the next morning we tried to catch the Brewery tour and ended up there too early.
I'm still sleepy and I'm not drinking for months..
It took me like 2 hours to do this shiz.. I am now 12 minutes past Memoir Monday. I guess it is now tell me about what happened last weekend Tuesday. Yeah that's right. TMAWHLWT.
I keep it real.
MC Hammer is still tweeting like a mad man..